(pun-CH) – verb
strike with the fist: that guy
deserves a good punch
cock punch
(cock pun-CH) – verb
strike with the fist into a man’s genitals: I would really like to cock punch that guy
It is definitely time to hand out some more cock
punches! The world continues to go crazy
and some people are helping it along a little too much.
A Honey Cured Canadian Bacon Cock Punch for that asshole
Kevin Reinhart and the shareholders of Nexen Inc. who voted overwhelming to
approve a $15.1 billion takeover by CNOOC, a state-owned Chinese oil
company. The deal, which still needs to
be approved by the Canadian Government – which we all know it will be – is just
the latest example of Stephen Harper and his unpatriotic flunkies in Ottawa
selling Canada out to the highest bidder.
Hey Harper, what ever happened to the promised changes in the Investment
Canada Act review process you committed too after the Potash debacle? Is anything you say true?
A Dress Up Like Ninjas And Have Sex On The Roof Cock Punch
for Rupert Everett who crawled out from under his rock to announce “I can’t
think of anything worse than being brought up by two gay Dads”. Everett’s internalized homophobia aside, what
gives him the right to attack GLBT families?
Apparently, being raised by one mother and one father didn’t instill him
with a moral compass or any sense of responsibility. It is only a sneaky Ninja Punch because I
still think he’s really hot and would totally sleep with him.
A Crushing Jackhammer Cock Punch to whichever douche-bags
left Coconut to starve to death in a pet carrier near Richmond, BC. There is a special place in Hell reserved for
these sick bastards who are clearly soulless, empty monsters. What gives you the right to abandon a
helpless animal like this? I hope you’re
caught and locked in a small cage with no food or water, to sit in your own
urine and feces, so you learn to appreciate the sanctity of life.
Oh, and Paris Hilton!
This fucked up Princess was secretly recorded saying that gay people are
“disgusting” and “most of them probably have AIDS”. Her PR team is in damage control over-drive
and a quickly released apology is making the rounds. When someone is known to casually toss around
words like “nigger”, “chink”, “jappy” and “faggot” it’s pretty clear that they
are a racist and a bigot. Take your
apologies and crocodile tears and shove them up your ass. I would personally give you a Hate-filled
Flying Scissor Kick Gash Bash but I am too afraid to go near your pussy.
This last Cock Punch is reserved for the guy at the
Starbucks – yup, I love to rant about Starbucks - on the corner of Broadway and
Cambie in Vancouver. Why not fill my
Iced Venti Light Ice Soy Chai all of the way to the top? I know this is a “First World Problem” but it
really pisses me off when you scrimp on the soy just because I don’t want to
pay $5.77 for a cup full of ice. 5 maybe
6 ice cubes is perfect, so do your job, don’t talk to me and make my cold
beverage the way I want it or I’ll give you an extra special Frozen Fist Cock
Punch that will have you peeing icicles for a week.
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