Hockey Hangover

Hangover

(hang-o-ver) noun

a severe headache or other side effects caused by drinking excess of alcohol. A thing that has survived from the past: a hangover from the sixties

Hockey Hangover

(hock-ey hang-o-ver) noun

a severe headache and other side effects caused by the dismal failure of Canadian teams to win the Stanley Cup: a hockey hangover since 1993

Now that we’ve all had a little time to digest another wretched year for Canadian hockey teams, it’s time to get real.

Get on the Gravy Train

gravy

(gray-vee)  - noun

The fat and juices exuding from meat during cooking.  A sauce made from these juices together with stock and other ingredients.

There were three rules at the dinner table when I was growing up.  When reaching for anything, one foot had to remain on the floor, your butter could never be thicker than the bread and gravy was not a beverage.  

The Difference

marriage

(mar-riage) noun

the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife: a happy marriage.

gay marriage

(gay mar-riage) noun

same as above except with partners of a similar gender and a lot more oral sex: a very happy marriage.

Its true… 

Decaf

Nebuchadnezzar II

(Neb-u-chad-nez-zar)

(c. 630-562 BC), king of Babylon 605-562 BC  “Destroyer of nations”

Nebuchadnezzar III

(Neb-u-chad-nez-zar)

(1969-TBA AD), fake moniker I give at Starbucks when they ask to write my name on the cup.

I loathe this new policy.

Learning To Count

counting – verb

(with obj.) determine the total  number of (a collection of items): when counting the number of sexual partners you’ve had you must include blowjobs.

I’m about to shatter the myth of rampant promiscuity amongst gay men.  AKA: the “gay men are sluts” rule.  

It’s really just a matter of how you count.