Hockey Hangover

Hangover

(hang-o-ver) noun

a severe headache or other side effects caused by drinking excess of alcohol. A thing that has survived from the past: a hangover from the sixties

Hockey Hangover

(hock-ey hang-o-ver) noun

a severe headache and other side effects caused by the dismal failure of Canadian teams to win the Stanley Cup: a hockey hangover since 1993

Now that we’ve all had a little time to digest another wretched year for Canadian hockey teams, it’s time to get real.

Get on the Gravy Train

gravy

(gray-vee)  - noun

The fat and juices exuding from meat during cooking.  A sauce made from these juices together with stock and other ingredients.

There were three rules at the dinner table when I was growing up.  When reaching for anything, one foot had to remain on the floor, your butter could never be thicker than the bread and gravy was not a beverage.  

The Difference

marriage

(mar-riage) noun

the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife: a happy marriage.

gay marriage

(gay mar-riage) noun

same as above except with partners of a similar gender and a lot more oral sex: a very happy marriage.

Its true… 

Decaf

Nebuchadnezzar II

(Neb-u-chad-nez-zar)

(c. 630-562 BC), king of Babylon 605-562 BC  “Destroyer of nations”

Nebuchadnezzar III

(Neb-u-chad-nez-zar)

(1969-TBA AD), fake moniker I give at Starbucks when they ask to write my name on the cup.

I loathe this new policy.

Learning To Count

counting – verb

(with obj.) determine the total  number of (a collection of items): when counting the number of sexual partners you’ve had you must include blowjobs.

I’m about to shatter the myth of rampant promiscuity amongst gay men.  AKA: the “gay men are sluts” rule.  

It’s really just a matter of how you count.

Brewhaha

brouhaha

(broo-haa-haa) - noun

an episode involving excitement, confusion, turmoil, etc., especially a broil over a minor or ridiculous cause: a brouhaha by the water-polo players resulted in three black eyes.

brewhaha

(brew-ha-ha) - noun

an episode involving terror, tumult, turbulence, etc., specifically when ones bowels are set to explode with atom-smashing force: a brewhaha by the water-polo players resulted in the condemning of the pool.

Clueless

clueless

(clue-less) – adjective

having no knowledge, understanding or ability: you’re clueless about how to deal with the world

Exactly…

Besides also being one of the best movies of the 90’s it’s precisely how I’ve felt most of my life.  While we’re at it, lets throw Dazed and Confused and Dumb and Dumber into the mix.

Gutters

gutters - noun

a shallow trough fixed beneath the edge of a roof for carrying off rainwater

-       technical a groove or channel for flowing liquid

cum gutters - noun

on muscular/ripped guys, the lines on both sides that lead from the hips towards the groin. the indention is the cum gutter: the easiest way to avoid wet spots is to catch excess spunk in your cum gutters

Mushroom Cave

mushroom

(mush-room) – noun

a fungal growth that typically takes the shape of a domed cap on a stalk, often with gills on the underside of the cap.

cave

(kav) – noun

a large underground chamber, typically of natural origin, in a hillside or cliff

mushroom-cave

(mush-room-kav) – noun

indelicate name given to female genitalia by squeamish gay men: no force on earth could cajole me into spelunking in a mushroom-cave