Happy Unniversary

anniversary

(an-ni-ver-sa-ry) noun

the date on which an event took place in a previous year: today is my fourth wedding anniversary.

unniversary

(un-ni-ver-sa-ry) noun

the date on which an event that should have taken place did not: North Carolinians will celebrate the unniversary of their gay marriage ban on May 9^th 2013.

Important recent unniversaries include January 21^st 2009, when George Bush was sworn in as the 43^rd POTUS.  You know, after he and his Cronies stole the election from Al Gore.  December 13^th 2011 when the Canadian government pulled out of the Kyoto Protocol, effectively reneging on the single most important piece of climate control regulation ever passed.  October 3^rd 1995 when OJ Simpson was found “not guilty” of murdering Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman.  You remember; the day the entire world went “Fuuuuuuuuck!”

43 and feeling...

birthday

(burth-dey) noun

an anniversary of the day of your birth; I can’t believe I’m having another birthday.

Sooner or later it was bound to happen.  I would have preferred later.  I’ve turned 43.

42 and still no clue has evolved into 43 and feeling _________  I’m not sure how to fill in the blank just yet but I’m confident it will come to me. 

Braaaaains!

Zombie

(zom-bie) noun

a corpse said to be revived by witchcraft, esp. in certain African or Carribbean  nations: watch out for that fucking zombie!

- informal a person who is or appears lifeless, apathetic, or completely unresponsive to their surroundings.

This was my husband’s response when asked if he would kill me if I was bitten by a zombie:  “Without hesitation!”